"Can I Measure Your Head?"

I'm sure anyone out there can imagine how this was received when I walked into a bar full of men and made the announcement that I was on a mission to measure all of their heads. After they ran out of comments, most of them started shouting out their hat size, which I tried to tell them means nothing to me. That turned into a group ponder about how hat size is determined, since it has no obvious correlation to actual head measurement. This also was of very little interest to me at the time, (but if anyone knows, that would make my life a lot easier when someone asks for a hat!), and after a few more turns of the conversation that led away from hats altogether, I let out a fairly obnoxious "Ahem!" Since I had their attention again, I explained that men's heads confuse me. I feel heads vary more in circumference from man to man than from woman to woman, and it is hard to estimate exactly how big one is just by looking at it. They all know I knit, (since I do it right in front of them), and they did a fairly good job of feigning sympathy when I confessed that I have a serious problem with knitting men's hats. I have never been able to make one that fits the person it was made for, let alone anyone else I could convince to try them on, and that I screwed myself by saying I would make one for someone. Once the measuring tape came out it was a different story, and they were more weirded out by it than I ever could've imagined. Even with all the lewd jokes when I first walked in, when it was time to get serious about it, they acted like I really did want them to drop trow (trou?) and have their privates measured in the middle of a room full of other guys. The 4 that agreed to let their head size be put on record, (not to mention being compared to other men's head sizes), of course wanted to measure their own. For a bunch of guys, most of whom make a living by or are experienced in measuring things for building purposes an whatnot, they didn't seem to understand a flexible measuring tape very well. Just by watching, which was all I could do, I knew it wasn't even worth writing down the blatantly inaccurate information I was getting. I do plan on trying this again, and maybe again after that. I wonder how many times will it take before they understand that I am serious about this and just let me wrap the damn tape around their heads myself?
Of course when I actually took out the "test hat" I had just started knitting, they all wanted to try it on, even though there was only about 3 inches of it done. I finished it there, and was once again disheartened when it fit no one :( The proof is in the pudding folks, I am no good at men's hats. I will persevere! It will probably be a New Year's resolution I can stick to!

Here is the Hand Made Hat that was going to be so wonderful. It would be, if I had paid better attention and trusted my instincts. I know that if I only ripped out the decrease section and then about an inch or so and re-knit it it would come out just fine and probably even fit someone but screw it, it would still have to be someone with an enormous noggin. Here it is on a woman's head form, but it was still big around on men's heads... and it is quite obvious to me now that I should have started the decreases earlier. I think I was hoping that whoever put it on would look as good in it as the guy in the photo, but unfortunately this was not the case.