I am not the most skilled when it comes to knitting with double pointed needles, so back in June I decided to try practicing on something small... like a beer bottle. My original intent was that I would get really good and make a couple for a friend; one in red and white with an Ohio State "O", and a navy one with a Boston Red Socks "B". Since he lives part of the year in Cape Cod, MA, and the rest in Key West, FL, (following the warmer weather), I figured that he might like one of these to keep his beer from sweating on him while he watches the games outside. Yes, I am aware that this might make the beer warmer faster, but it's the thought that counts, right?
Anyhoo, aside from not being able to find the right yarn in the right colors, I had some design flaws in the prototypes that were humorous to the point of embarrassment. I'm sure anyone who looks at the photo will agree. As I have posted before, I do some of my knitting at a local bar... not like I go there specifically to knit, I just always have a project with me. Imagine the snickering when I finally bound off my first beer cozy (the white one) while surrounded by a group of about 6 men. I was oblivious to it, since I was just so proud of myself for completing my first double pointed project that had no gaps between the stitches! I turned to the nearest male drinking from a bottle and asked him to try it on, apologizing that it might me a little short but that it was just a tester. He looked a little shocked, but took it anyway. Before I knew it, my beer cozy was headed towards the men's bathroom. "Wait!" I yelled, "where are you going? I want to see if it fits!" Everyone burst out laughing, two people choked on their beer, and I'm sure I turned bright red when he yelled from across the room that he wasn't going to drop his pants in the middle of the bar to try on a "cock sock".
Eventually I was able to laugh at it myself... I mean, it does resemble that. It did fit a beer bottle, but just as I suspected, it was a little short. So I made the green one, which cinches and ties around the tapered part of the bottle.
Since then, I have not made any more, and the teasing finally has stopped. At the time, I did get several requests for different team logos on beer cozies, but unfortunately the yarn I'd like to use doesn't come in NFL or baseball team colors. In the last two weeks, however, I have gotten THREE requests for "cock socks"... I won't mention any names, but they're not even any of the guys that were there that day at the bar back in June! I guess the word spread. I don't know what's weirder - the fact that people want them, or that there are two different patterns on the web for them! (I'll add links later). I really tried to keep a straight face when I was pulled into a corner and asked if I could knit someone a willy warmer, but come on, it's funny!
So my dilemma is this: Do I actually make them? I can't imagine they'll be used - or at least I don't want to think about them being used, and it seems like a waste of yarn.
Then again, they would be pretty funny stocking stuffers...
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